Back to School Anxiety
Hello HPA families!
Dare I say it… school is just around the corner. I hope you’ve been soaking in the sunshine, quality family time, and made it out with minimal mosquito bites. As the “s” word continues to loom closer, you may start to observe some nervousness in your child as they sense change coming. Maybe you’re feeling a little on edge yourself. Below are some tips to help ease your child’s back-to-school anxiety, as well as some quick calm-down strategies to instill confidence when those worries show up.
1) Routine: 2-3 weeks before school starts, begin transitioning to what will be your child’s school bedtime and nightly routine. Do they pick out their clothes the night before? Start doing that! Does bedtime change from 10:00pm to 8:00pm? Start going to bed a little earlier each day.
2) Friends: Schedule play dates or family outings that involve social interactions. Bonus if they’re playdates with past classmates. This can help eliminate social anxieties and allow for opportunities to practice play in a familiar environment.
3) Validate the worry your child may express, but don’t spend too much time on it. By showing confidence in them, you’re sending the message that they’ve got this and that there’s nothing to worry about. If parents hesitate or return to the worry, it leaves the wonder, ‘Maybe there is something to be afraid of if mom/dad seem worried.’ Struggling to contain the worry? Schedule a “worry time” – 15 minutes where your child gets to ask any questions they want about their worry/discuss it with you. Kindly remind them that they have to wait until their “worry time” if they try to engage in discussion throughout the day. Perhaps ask them to write it down, so they don’t forget.
4) Roleplay: If your child is younger, practicing saying goodbye and having them walk into a room alone can be helpful. Make it quick, give a positive affirmation, and show confidence in them. There are many other school aspects to practice, such as saying hi to friends, raising their hand, asking to go to the bathroom. Make it a game and have fun with it!
5) Read some books about starting school or anxiety in general. A quick Google or Amazon search will provide you with various options. Here are a few:
Don’t Feed The Worry Bug by Andi Green
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook for Kids by Lawrence E. Shapiro
The Anxiety Workbook for Teens by Lisa M. Schab LCSW
An option for parents:
Anxiety Relief for Kids: On-the-Spot Strategies to Help Your Child by Bridget Flynn Walker PhD
Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-By-Step Guide for Parents by Ronald Rapee PhD, Ann Wignall DPsych, Susan Spence PhD, Heidi Lyneham PhD, Vanessa Cobham PhD
6) Quick calm down strategies:
Count heartbeats
Press and release palms together
54321 calming technique (list 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste)
Squeeze something (can be imaginary lemons in your hand)
Run in place
Get a drink of water
Starfish breathing (trace fingers up and down while breathing in and out)
Smell the flowers and blow out the candles
Give yourself a hug or ask for a hug
Hum a favorite song
Think of a happy place
Just as any skill takes practice, so do coping skills/calm-down strategies. Practice the strategies above when your child is calm, so that when they find themselves in a worry moment, they–and their bodies–are confident in what they’re trying to do. Calm down!
Schooltime can bring many emotions; give yourself extra grace as you help your children adjust. You’ve got this parents!
Resource: Lee, K., & Morin, A. (2021, October 12). How can you ease back-to-school anxiety and stress?. In VeryWell Family. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfamily.com/tips-to-ease-back-to-school-anxiety-620832