Holiday Blues
Happy holidays!
We are entering a season full of celebrations–Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Diwali, and more. Regardless of your religious or cultural traditions, the holidays are often portrayed as a happy time filled with love and giving. However, not everyone is able to embrace the warmth and joy that others hold onto. In fact, 64% of those who already journey with mental health difficulties find that the holidays make their symptoms worse (NAMI, 2014). If you’re someone who struggles during the holidays, you’re not alone! You may be experiencing the “holiday blues.”
For some, the months of November and December may be more difficult due to high expectations, grief, loss, poor social support, loneliness, and comparing past good times to the present. Other reasons some may feel the weight of the holiday season could be due to the pressure to feel happy or social, financial stress, seasonal changes, comparison, inability to be with family, and stress in general. Whatever the reason may be, these feelings are valid and have the potential to influence one’s holiday experience. While the “holiday blues” are different than a diagnosed mental illness, it still should be taken seriously as it has the potential to lead to future mental health challenges. Wondering if you, your child, or your family has the “holiday blues”? Here are some questions to help you check-in:
– Are you experiencing constant or reoccurring sadness?
– Are you withdrawing from others or pushing them away?
– Are you feeling irritable or angry?
– Are you noticing changes in your sleep patterns?
– Do you feel more fatigued/tired than usual?
– Are you having problems with making decisions?
– Do you notice you’re losing interest in things you once enjoyed?
– Any changes in your eating habits?
– Any difficulty concentrating?
– Have you entertained any destructive habits?
– Do you feel overcome with loneliness?
It is important to notice how you or your child is feeling and identify if you have any of the symptoms listed above. If so, it’s wise to seek help from someone you trust, whether that’s a friend, family member, teacher, therapist, etc. Let others be intentional about showing you their support and care over these couple months. In addition, there are many steps you can take to help minimize or stay away from the “holiday blues.”
Along with social support, falling back on self-care is always a good first step. During the fall and winter months, increasing your intentionality around self-care will help ease those “holiday blues.” Examples of self-care include mindfulness/meditation, exercise, eating healthy, spending time in nature (yes – even in the snow!), getting enough sleep, spending time with pets, playing with friends/family, and more.
Other ideas for increasing your happiness include getting outside of yourself and contributing. This could look like doing a random act of kindness for someone or checking in on your older neighbors. Try something new, connect with others via technology, or volunteer at a local organization. More options could be spending extra time decorating or sending cards to loved ones. These activities are meant to get you out of your head and to give to others.
Another helpful practice to assist with the “holiday blues” is to focus on the things you can control, like practicing how to say no assertively, but appropriately, and limiting time with family or friends that cause drama or stress. Moreover, share responsibilities and purposefully connect with positive people in your life. Start your own tradition, create a daily routine, limit social media exposure, and use “I statements” to share how you feel (I feel _______ when I _______ because ________). If you’re experiencing loss, grieve that loved one, but then do something to remember them. Focus on what’s in your sphere of control, such as your thoughts, your choices, your reactions, your actions, your words. Examples of healthy holiday boundaries include:
– “I can only stay for two hours.”
– “I can only help on Tuesday evening, but I am not available the rest of the week.”
– “I will bake chocolate chip cookies every year on _______ day to remember my family member, _______.”
So how can you actively work on these things? Start by creating a self-care list, then find an accountability partner that will hold you accountable for your actions. Allow yourself to use positive self-talk and consider creating a mantra—a word or phrase that you can repeat to help you concentrate during turbulent emotions. Place reminders around your home via sticky notes or create a vision board. Find inspiration and get help when it’s needed. Finally, allow yourself to realize that progress doesn’t have to be perfection. Celebrate and recognize the small wins as you journey through your “holiday blues.”
For more thoughts on the “holiday blues,” see this article: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2013/Beat-Back-the-Holiday-Blues
Resources:
National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2014, November 19). Mental health and the holiday blues. NAMI. https://www.nami.org/Press-Media/Press-Releases/2014/Mental-health-and-the-holiday-blues
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Brittney Wagenveld, LLMSW
Holland Pediatric Associates
616.393.0166
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” – Brené Brown